Q: Are Christians, especially Nazarenes, as likely to divorce as non-Christians?

A: Married Christians are not immune to divorce. They face many of the same cultural influences, stresses, and temptations that everyone else faces. The grace of God, the fellowship and support of other believers, and the ministry of the church help them maintain and strengthen their marriage relationships. However, lack of commitment from either marriage partner may result in a variety of problems including adultery and divorce.

So the answer to the question is this: Christians involved in a church such as the Church of the Nazarene may experience divorce, but they are not as likely to divorce as non-Christians.

The fairly widespread belief that Christians are as likely as non-Christians to divorce seems to be based on a 2004 study by the Barna Group from which they announced that, “born-again Christians have the same likelihood of divorce as do non-Christians.”¹

Among married people defined by these researchers as “born again Christians,” 35 percent had experienced divorce. Among married adults who were not born again, the rate was the same, 35 percent.

This study apparently did not look at either religious affiliation or involvement, both of which might be expected to influence marital stability. The absence of any difference due to belief was a shocking finding widely publicized and believed.

Anyone who was influenced by the 2004 Barna study to believe Christians are just as likely to divorce as non-Christians will be especially interested in a 2008 Barna follow-up study.²

In fact, this study found that married evangelical Christians were significantly less likely to divorce (26 percent) than non-Christians (33 percent). The 2008 study still apparently did not include denominational affiliation or church attendance but it did examine differences in likelihood of divorce based on belief.

Christians identified by the researchers as evangelicals based on their beliefs were found to be less likely than others to divorce.

Ongoing studies among ever married Nazarenes have found that 25 percent have experienced divorce. This is about the same level as the Barna Group found among evangelical Christians (26 percent). The difference is important. In the 2008 report, the Barna Group noted that “Interviews with young adults suggest that they want their initial marriages to last, but are not particularly optimistic about that possibility.”

Optimism is vital but difficult even among Christians if they believe God’s grace, discipleship, partners’ support, and the church’s ministry will not help their marriages succeed.

The good news is that according to the Barna studies, Christians are less likely to divorce than non-Christians. Furthermore, according to studies conducted by Nazarene Research Services for Sunday School and Discipleship Ministries International and the Board of General Superintendents, Nazarenes are also less likely to divorce than non-Christians.

Keneth E. Crow is a retired missionary, pastor, sociologist, and researcher.

Q: While on vacation, I took my family to a Nazarene church on Sunday morning. I was surprised that the pastor wore a white robe. Why would pastors do that?

A: Ask the pastor. I love sharing why I wear a robe. God’s mission is that our church would participate in His restoration story.

Our local ministry focuses on young families with children who live within a two-mile radius of our facility in a highly-educated suburb outside Kansas City. Wearing a robe helps me communicate with these families. Here are some reasons for that:

Kingdom Unity: Our church works in unity with other denominations in our neighborhood. In my childhood, sectarian ideology caused us to think that most other religious groups were in competition with us, or worse, our enemies. A robe is an ecumenical “uniform” for clergy that reminds us we are all on the same team.

Simplicity: When wearing a robe in worship, I never have to worry about a bad necktie or a distracting suit. It’s the same thing every Sunday; it saves on the budget and the eyes. Furthermore, when our female assistant pastor preaches while wearing a white robe, it levels the playing field. The robe reminds us that a preacher’s authority is from God, not based on gender.

Symbolism: Remember how important pictures and symbols are in illiterate cultures? In literate cultures, words on paper have much more power. But, our neighborhood is “postliterate.” Symbols and storytelling have become important tools for communication again.

People ask, “Why is Jesus relevant in my life?” Because He is at work through His church putting all things back to right, making them pure, just like this robe is pure and clean. Children and parents get it.

God’s Mission: When you ask the pastor about the robe, if he or she can’t connect it to the mission of God, I’d recommend the robe go away. If the answer is, “We’ve always done it this way,” or “I like it,” I’d kindly suggest, “Get rid of it.”

In our church, the robe helps me connect people to God’s story that concludes this way: “After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. And they cried out in a loud voice: ‘Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb.’” (Revelation 7:9-10).

Scott Dement is lead pastor at Olathe, Kansas, Christ Community Church of the Nazarene. He chose not to wear a robe at his previous church in Oregon.

Q: How can we reach people in our communities by going out to them?

A: Jesus was known as a “friend of sinners.” He spent time with people who didn’t act right, or talk appropriately. He entered into their lives, became their friends, and embraced the messiness of their lives. As Christ’s disciples we are called to do the same.

If you don’t have any not-yet-believers in your circle of close friends then you need to find ways to get involved in your local community and begin making friends outside of the church.

Join a local softball league (not the church league). Participate in your child’s school (parent-teacher groups, fundraising, event planning, and so on). Frequent the same coffee shop and get to know the staff or owners. Volunteer at a local food pantry. Join a book club or sports team. Invite your neighbors to your home for a game night once a month.

Participate in a local arts groups. Take a class at your gym, or join others in training to run a marathon. Whatever you choose, make it a priority to live life with not-yet-believers and befriend them in tangible ways.

We must move from programs that simply meet needs (physical, emotional, or spiritual) to programs that foster relationships.

Dedicate a portion of the church property as a community garden where neighbors and church members can garden together, become friends, and decide together how to bless others with the bountiful harvest.

“Adopt” a nearby school by cleaning up the school yard, planting flowers, sponsoring teacher appreciation luncheons, volunteering in the classrooms, and mentoring or tutoring students. The key is to do things that will build relationships with the teachers, staff, and students.

The possibilities are endless. Take a look around your community and see what people are doing, and then join them. Build relationships. Be real. Enter into their suffering. Share your own suffering. Walk with them through the ups and downs of life. It will be messy, and you will have to rely on God for wisdom to navigate it. But if you are prayerful and attentive to the opportunities that God opens up, in time you will find natural ways to share your faith and offer the hope of Christ to them.

Bonnie S. Beam is an ordained elder and has served on Church of the Nazarene staffs in Massachusetts and Kansas.

1. barna.org/barna-update/article/5-barna-update/194-born-again-christians-just-as-likely-to-divorce-as-are-non-christians

2. barna.org/barna-update/article/15-familykids/42-new-marriage-and-divorce-statistics-released

Please note: All facts, figures, and titles were accurate to the best of our knowledge at the time of original publication but may have since changed.