Emerging Adulthood: Twenty-somethings in Today's Church
Young adulthood has changed. No longer have most graduating college seniors successfully negotiated the journey of identity formation, knowing who they are and what they want to do for the rest of their lives. At the same time, college-aged (18-25) people are more removed from "adulthood" than perhaps ever before in history.
Four twenty-somethings from Northwest Nazarene University (NNU) in Nampa, Idaho, give us their thoughts on growing up and the church.
Stephanie Ott is a recently-graduated 21-year-old who completed her biology and chemistry major in four years. She is heading to Colorado State University to pursue a master's degree in veterinary medicine.
Tyler Roberts is a transfer student at NNU on a basketball scholarship and studying psychology.
Emely DeLeon spent part of her childhood in Guatemala and the rest in Burbank, California. She graduated in May 2008 with a religious studies degree and is pursuing social justice work.
Olivia Meyer is a 22-year-old missions major from Oregon who will spend the next three years in Brazil with the Church of the Nazarene's "Amazonia" project.
Q: By the time they reach their 20s, most people are considered to be adults. Do you feel you're an adult yet?
Olivia: I don't feel I'm grown up. I may have some of the characteristics of an adult but most people our age are still finding out who they are throughout their 20s. They are still acting like teens...driven by hormones. It's not necessarily good, but is an outcome of society allowing you to continue finding yourself. College is like a continuation of high school. My life is pretty programmed for me—bills are paid, housing and meal plan coveredvmy basic needs are met.
Emely: Our age is said to be self-focused. But I focused more on myself in high school. In college, I have become part of the larger community—it is a two-way relationship and not all about me anymore.
Tyler: Adult? Absolutely not! I can make my own decisions—I've been doing that for some time. But for me "adult" means financial independence, no ties to parents, being your own person, paying your way, and living life solely on your own terms. Since I don't pay all my own bills, I'm not yet an adult—not totally responsible for myself.
Stephanie: I would not necessarily call myself an adult, since I don't make all my own decisions and depend on my parents for financial help. Graduate school equals adulthood for me, since I'll have no medical insurance and no help from parents—whatever happens to me will be my deal.
Q: How is your experience as a twenty-something different from that of your parents?
Emely: My parents were married by their early twenties and had kids by my age! Although they did not go to college they always encouraged me to go. The job market is very competitive now. It seems now a master's degree is essential to do what I want to do.
Stephanie: Today we face so much pressure to know what we are going to do with our lives. My mom went to college and then got a master's degree. My dad went to the Marines to get straightened out. But I've wanted to be a veterinarian for years and felt I had to have a plan and get my qualifications together in high school—volunteer, get in surgery, work myself into paid positions. I needed to do so many things before I was even in college and I needed to know all this by the time I was 15!
Olivia: My parents pursued things they liked, for which they had natural talent. Their generation didn't necessarily go to college, or did so later in life to strengthen skills. It seems there were more physical labor or manufacturing jobs then. My daddy was in the Navy and that prepared him for a job maintaining hospital machines. But natural talent is not enough today. The job market is competitive and we need a plan and the credentials to get there.
Q: What has your church experience been since leaving high school? What advice would you give to the Church about ministering to your age group?
Emely: Since high school I have been involved in church with youth and children. In turn, the church has been there for me, whether for counseling or economic needs. My advice to churches ties in with my longing for multi-generational influence. College students don't want to be separated from the church as a whole—we want others in the congregation to be with us and us with them.
Olivia: I have stayed with one church during my college years and have enjoyed it, but I know such a small percentage of the congregation. If I miss a Sunday or two, few notice I'm gone. Coming from a smaller church background, this is difficult. In the larger church I attend I don't have any "surrogate grandparents." No one connected me to their homes and lives besides my Sunday school teachers. Where are those "grandparent types?" The older generation provides a checkpoint, a reality check from the wild goose chase we can be on. We need that honest contact with the older people to help us grow toward adulthood.
Tyler: In a church you need to have a community of folks who know you and accept you and don't let you off the hook so easily—people you can experience life with. As churches foster small group community, they help young adults know themselves and connect with the older generation. Jesus died on the cross to reestablish not only our relationship with God but also our relationships with each other. The sense of collectiveness just isn't there since society is so individually focused on what you are doing rather than what we are doing.
Mike Kipp is professor of youth and family ministry at Northwest Nazarene University in Nampa, Idaho. He is working on his doctorate in youth, family, and culture at Fuller Theological Seminary. Resources for Further Reading:
- Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from the Late Teens through the Twenties (Oxford Univ. Press, 2004).
- Friedrich L. Schweitzer, The Postmodern Lifecycle: Challenges for Church and Theology (Chalice Press, 2004).
- Jean M. Twenge, Generation ME: Why Today's Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled—and More Miserable Than Ever Before (Free Press, 2006).
Holiness Today, September/October 2008
Please note: This article was originally published in 2008. All facts, figures, and titles were accurate to the best of our knowledge at that time but may have since changed.
