Rescued!
No warning. One moment everything was fine as I traveled to work. The next second a tremendous jolt changed my life. Surely it had only been a few minutes since I'd kissed my wife Erin and two-year-old son Peyton good-bye and had left for work. I tried to think about them, think about anything but the pain exploding from my back into my chest. As I lie still, my heart was drawn to the Lord. "Dear God, help!" I begged.
It wasn't the first time I had cried that prayer. For two years I had faced relentless struggles. But this was different. I realized I now depended on Him for my very life. Just as the sun started to rise, darkness engulfed me. I slipped in and out of consciousness. At one point, I realized technicians were using a jaws-of-life to extricate me. At another point, I heard a helicopter whirring me to an area trauma center. I was aware of strange voices, cold metal, X rays, gentle hands.
In the moments of mental cohesion, my mind returned to the Lord. The sermon and Sunday School lesson from the day before had filled my mind as I'd set out for work that morning. I had even taken my Bible with me that day, for the Lord had been tugging at my heart. Determined to begin walking in the light I had once known, I had decided this was the day to renew my relationship with Christ and let Him restore my soul. And my soul certainly needed to be restored.
For two years before that January 2003 morning, I'd experienced one disappointment after another. It all began in the summer of 2001. I had been an elementary teacher for five years when I sensed the Lord calling me to pursue a career in fire fighting. I successfully completed emergency medical technician (EMT) training and fire fighting courses and started job hunting. Each application included months of waiting, testing, and interviewing. The testing itself was physically strenuous, so I continually conditioned my body. I diligently prepared for each written and physical agility test. I kept thinking my hard work was about to pay off. Each time I applied and tested, I quickly placed among the handful of best candidates. The position was always so close to my grasp, but I was not chosen. I truly had believed that as the Lord continued to lead, I would eventually receive a job offer. However, the rejections wore on me. Since God wasn't opening the doors apparently, I started depending on myself to make this career a reality.
As I mapped out my road to success, I was soon on a dark and unfamiliar path. I dreaded going to church. I stopped praying and my Bible remained unopened. God seemed distant. Eventually, I realized becoming a paramedic would enhance my chances for a fire fighting job. In November 2002, I was hired as an EMT at a small hospital in Iowa and signed up for their paramedic training. We made plans to move there from Kansas. Although, this was a wonderful opportunity, my goal of fire fighting now seemed farther away. But I was determined to stay on this path I'd chosen. That's where I was emotionally when God started to draw me to himself once again.
Just as I'd committed to return to Him, my life was suddenly out of my hands. With a crunch of steel, I now depended on Him for my very life. The painkillers kept my mind foggy, but I learned I'd suffered two cervical fractures, had a fully occluded vertebral artery that would remain a permanent injury, and had knee injuries that would require weeks of physical therapy. I was alive, but basically helpless. After four days, I went home from the hospital but I was far from well. Instead of being physically active, I was now confined to a recliner. I couldn't hold my head upright because of my injured neck. The simplest routines were impossible. Instead of my taking care of my pregnant wife, she had to care for me. My heart broke as I repeatedly tried to explain to Peyton why I couldn't play with him. I realized how helpless I was in other ways.
The accident ended my job, and we had no benefits. The financial burden was overwhelming. How will we pay our bills? How can we even buy food? I wondered. The days became long and the nights lonely as I rested in my recliner. While my family slept, I wrestled with fears and depression. When I couldn't sleep, I started to take my questions, my burdens, to the Lord. Although our needs were great, God reassured me that He was greater. God started pouring blessings on us. Our Sunday school class from College Church of the Nazarene, in Olathe, Kansas, took a love offering for us. Friends, family, and even people who we barely knew showered us with prayers, visits, meals, and monetary gifts. The Lord graciously provided for our every need. Three weeks after the accident, Erin and I welcomed Preston into the world. How wonderful to hold that little boy! I thanked the Lord that I was still alive to be a daddy to my boys.
"In His arms, I have been safely sheltered, tenderly cared for, and loved beyond understanding."
On August 1, I celebrated my birthday and met with my neurosurgeon. Ending eight months of disability, I was released to work—but had no job. My injuries had ended my fire fighting dream. But I didn't have long to be concerned about my future. That afternoon, I received a job offer to teach second grade in Chariton, Iowa, our hometown. The lessons I learned through this storm in my life have been eternal. I've experienced the very heart of God and I've witnessed His unrelenting love. In His arms, I have been safely sheltered, tenderly cared for, and loved beyond understanding. My life should have been taken, but God rescued me physically and spiritually that morning, and I am grateful.
Perry Lane is a schoolteacher in Chariton, Iowa.
Holiness Today, July/August 2004
Please note: This article was originally published in 2004. All facts, figures, and titles were accurate to the best of our knowledge at that time but may have since changed.
