Hard Pressed on Every Side, But Not Crushed

I could not understand why a man was on the roof of my truck, hanging upside down in the window, and telling me not to move. I also wondered why all the windows were open in the cold blowing snow. Then it came to me: I had hit black ice, and my truck had fish-tailed. Actually, I was the one upside down—suspended in air by my seat belt—and all the windows were blown out. I whispered the quick prayer, "Dear God, help me." Then I blacked out again.

Witnesses said the truck flew off the road, over a fence, and rolled twice, landing on the roof. My sternum was fractured along with five thoracic vertebrae in my back. But most seriously, the first cervical vertebrae (C1) in my neck was shattered in the front and fractured in the back. The majority of any fractures at the C1 level are fatal. The paramedics had to cut me out of the truck. I was literally hard pressed on all sides. The days that ensued left me perplexed, wondering why. I am used to being on the run, having a "to do list," and staying busy. I have never been so still for so long since that stranger who stopped to help said, "Don't move."

First I lay in an intensive care unit for several days, unable to move off my back. This was followed by many more days in a neurological unit with a halo on my head, unable to sit up. The halo had to be worn for 10 weeks before it became apparent that surgery was needed because the fractures were not healing.

Following the procedure, I had to be still again, spending many weeks just sitting at home and waiting for the fractures to heal. The experience reminded me that someone once said "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). I argued with God that I should not have to be still if I already knew that He is God. But He said, "Be still."

I have been still and indeed know that He is God.

God answered my short prayer on the day of the accident and two miracles occurred before I even knew it.

I should have been dead or at least paralyzed from the neck down, but in His power, God maintained a 2 millimeter hedge between those fractures and the spinal cord. Just the fact I can type, and even my very life is praise to God! Because of Him, I am alive and sustained no paralysis or loss of motion in my arms or legs.

Hard pressed on every side? Yes, but not crushed. Perplexed? Yes, but not in despair. Persecuted? Not really. Certainly not abandoned. Struck down? Indeed, but not destroyed. I have thought of Job over and over and his great faith in saying, "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him" (Job 13:15, NIV).

I had never been so still in my life, but also never so sure of God's mercy, compassion and great love.

My neck will never rotate normally. I lost an inch and a half in height from the vertebral fractures, but I have grown. I will never again question God's care, power, or constancy. "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed" (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, NIV).

Rebekah M. Haggard, M.D. attends Casper First Church of the Nazarene and is a Regional Medical Director for Prison Health Services.

Please note: All facts, figures, and titles were accurate to the best of our knowledge at the time of original publication but may have since changed.