One Small Light

With an optimistic attitude and my Buddhist meditations, I thought I could conquer any obstacle. After all, I'd run more than 100 marathons and ultra-marathons, including 150 miles through the Sahara and Mojave deserts.

That was before my wife asked me to leave our home.

My life had been everything I had ever dreamed: I was married to a wonderful wife, had two lovely children, and a fulfilling job in Gelnhausen, Germany. Seven days a week, from early morning till late at night, I worked hard for our future, confident that I was doing it all for the happiness and prosperity of my family.

Many times my wife had asked me to spend less time working and running, and more time with the family. But I hadn't listened. I was shocked the day she told me to move out of our apartment. But she meant what she said.

The next three months of my life were a nightmare. I lost everything I really cared for and loved: my marriage and my children. My wife said I could have no second chance. Sinking into depression and despair, and desperately searching for answers, I hurried from one meditation to the next, in one town after another. But Buddhism offered no solutions. My friends had no advice. One sleepless night followed another. I was mentally absent and failed at my job. Sometimes I wondered if it wouldn't be easier just to end my life.

Desperate, I even visited churches - I, who had always scorned these "naive religious ceremonies." Still, I did not find peace - not in the churches, and not in the Buddhist ceremonies.

The load on my shoulders felt heavier every day.

Then, three amazing things occurred.

During this difficult time, Christian friends encouraged me and listened to my troubles, as I talked to them on the phone regularly. They were members of an evangelical church and assured me of their prayers. "Winfried," they said one day, "we are praying that you will find a home group."

"A what?" I asked. "Shall I check on the Internet?"

"No," they answered. "Don't do anything. We're praying."

A few days later, as I was packing my 3,000 books to move them out of my wife's apartment, one book fell out of a box. I picked it up, intrigued, and started reading. When I finished three days later, I admired the book's Christian author, who had dedicated his life to serving the Lord.

Several days later, something else happened. On a Wednesday evening I drove through town, passing, as I had many times before, the large Church of the Nazarene in Gelnhausen. I had no plans to ever enter this church since I had been thoroughly warned by many: "Take care! This may be a cult - they only want your money."

As I drove by, I noticed a small lit window on the second floor. I turned around, drawn by this one small light, and parked my car outside the building. The entrance was dark. The first floor was dark. Only that light on the second floor shone.

I hesitated, but something or someone made me enter. I could see the stairs to the second floor. As the front door closed behind me, I felt a calmness flooding through me, as if someone had lifted the weights off my shoulders. For the first time in months I could stand up straight and confidently. As if sheltered in strong arms, I felt safe, secure, and accepted.

Only later did I realize that the peace of God had entered my life in that moment. I met the people in the small prayer group who met behind the lighted window that evening, and over the following weeks I joined a home group and became part of the congregation.

God started transforming my life, and I began to understand what it meant to follow Him.

I am so grateful that the Lord has patience with people like me. Sometimes, just a small light can spark a life-changing moment, especially when Christian brothers and sisters have been praying for such a transformation.

Winfried Friedel attends the Church of the Nazarene in Gelnhausen, Germany.

Holiness Today, March/April 2007

Please note: This article was originally published in 2007. All facts, figures, and titles were accurate to the best of our knowledge at that time but may have since changed.

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